Parenting of
the proper, good and loving variety comes with an endless and always
multiplying price tag. That price tag includes the traditional dollars and
cents, which you never seem to have enough of. That price tag comes with
sacrifice of the random spontaneity that you experienced in your early, less
responsible years. And, the biggest, most important, and ultimately necessary
portion of that price tag comes in the form of your time. Time is love. It has
been written by Abigail Van Buren, "If you want your children to turn out
well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money." While I
often feel like I am falling short of providing that parenting of the proper,
good and loving variety that I write of, as I get mouthfuls of slobbery kisses
on both my scruffy cheeks I realize I must be doing something, even to the
smallest extent, right.
On this
demanding, miraculous and supremely rewarding journey that we experience as
parents, we will all have feelings of inadequacy. We will all have those
moments where we feel like we failed. We will all have those moments where we
wonder if we should have done something different. We will all wonder if we
could have done better. The difficult process of having those thoughts, those
feelings, and those questions is what makes you a good parent. Good parents
wonder if they have done, are doing, and will do enough in the future. Good
parents stress about their children. And, good parents do whatever it takes to
see their kids happy. So, if you feel inadequate and scared, question your
abilities as a parent, and ponder the tough decisions you made as right or
wrong then you ARE a good parent.
As a son of
an incredibly strong and unconditionally loving mother and as a husband to the
most amazing, patient and loving mother of twin boys, I am in awe of mothers.
Their patience, good judgment and never ending love far exceeds that of the
majority of their male counterparts (including myself). But, as fathers, our
role is so very important. Whether you are raising a beautiful little chick or
a handsome little dude, it is so important that as men, we teach them, through
our actions how to show respect and love. Little girls marry men like their
fathers. Little boys treat women like their fathers.
As parents
(first time or not), we are learning the ropes together. You can read all the
books and Internet blogs. You can listen to advice from your own parents,
friends and doctors. You can watch movies, TV specials, and Oprah. But, in the
end, parenting is a process of trial and error. With it comes the glory of
success and the heartbreak of failure. With it comes joy and pain, pride and
disappoint. It is not always pretty, but it is always amazing.
The idea
behind Bad Idea Dad is that we are all learning. We all have those moments
where we question our decisions. And, at times, it is healthy, necessary, and
ultimately therapeutic to discuss those shortcomings. Bad Idea Dad does that. I
will be sharing some of my comedic, questionable, and just flat out "What
in the Hell was I thinking" moments. I will also be reaching out to other
parents, mainly dads, for their bad decisions, comedic moments and those
illogical thoughts that we all have as parents. It should be an incredible but
bumpy ride. Let the laughs, the tears and the chaos begin.
- Justin Barrow aka The Bad Idea Dad
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